Sharing My Beautiful Mess

Yesterday was a rough one for me. I felt as though the work I do doesn’t matter, I felt uneasy with the uncertainty of what the future holds especially around where I’ll be living next. I’ve been on this journey for a while now and sometimes I forget to trust and to remember sometimes no guidance is guidance. What I mean by that is that it’s not time for me to know yet. When the time is right I will be guided. 

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When no guidance is guidance & no action is in fact taking action.

Sometimes no guidance is guidance. It’s a sign that it’s not time to move forward. Once it’s time you’ll know. I was reminded of this today by my spirit guides. I had been feeling a bit anxious knowing that in October (which will be here before we know it) our time in our Eagle Rock place will be up and I hadn’t been given any solid intuitive hits on what’s next. 

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Celebrate the journey!

I’m 36 days into my weight loss journey and closely approaching the 20 lbs down mark [like literally ounces away]lol. Often I’ve had a tendency to focus on the destination and forget to celebrate the journey. 

So I wanted to take a moment to do just that. This has been a long road for me. It started with 100lb weight gain after sexual trauma in my early twenties. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin and spent over a decade hating my body yet living like everything was just fine. Until it wasn't.

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Losing Weight & Healing Trauma

I started this weight loss journey a little over a month ago and while it feels familiar to attempts in the past. The main difference is that I'm committed and ready. It is time to release the extra weight I've been carrying with me for so long. I finally feel and believe that: I am safe, my body is safe, and I'm grateful for all my body has done for me after experiencing sexual trauma and now it's time to let it all go.Healing emotions & trauma is one of the most powerful things we can do in our lifetime.

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WHAT TO DO WHEN SELF-DOUBT & OVERWHELM CREEP INTO YOUR ENTREPRENEURIAL ADVENTURE?

I've been an entrepreneur now for over a decade and like all boss babes, I have days of self-doubt, confusion, feelings of stress, and overwhelm too. Days where I don't feel like I have a clue as to what I'm doing. Days, where I want to just give up and go, get "a real job", even though the thought of that sounds even worse than toughing it out lol. These days are far and few between now but they still happen even after all this time! When days like this come up for you, especially in the beginning here are some things I recommend you try on...

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Burn Out Is Not A Badge Of Honor

Somewhere along the line, I lost sight of what matters to me most. I forgot to connect back to myself the last few months and as a result, I fell back into the patterns that keep me small, make me want to stay under the covers and hide from the wall... Ever since I was a teenager I've been pushing, forcing, and struggling to make things happen... but I've done that and I know where that leads (burnout + unhappiness). I'm doing things differently this time around...

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The Beauty of Women: Laura's Story of Connecting To What Matters

The most difficult thing I think is the decline of my marriage and the long ramp up to my divorce. The man I chose was one of the kindest hearted tender people that I ever met. We both came from divorced backgrounds and no security around a committed relationship. We were young when we met and simply decided to promise each other that love would conquer all- even though we had no skills or role models with any success to guide us- we decided that we would form a marriage and family where respect, passion, and communication would guide us.

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My Interview with the Lovely Ladies of Fempowered Tribe!

This past Friday I was featured as a guest speaker with the lovely ladies of FemPowered Tribe! Alanna Lousie & Kristen Brenkus were so kind to have me come on and share what I do, tips on how to hire your next photographer and why it's important. I also shared a bit about my story for the first time in a live interview! It was really empowering and exciting to see how far I've come in my journey and here I am talking about how I myself have turned my own pain into purpose. 

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The Danger in Learning To Love Myself + My Body

It's been over 5 years now since I had my spiritual awakening. When I decided it was time to make myself a priority and to start taking care of myself. I spent years working through my past trauma and learned to love myself and my body again.

It's been an incredible journey and I can say standing here today that I love the skin I'm in and most days feel pretty damn confident & sexy. What I have noticed in the past few months though is that I've allowed my "self-love" to be an excuse not to take care of my body at a deeper level. I noticed I'd tell myself "well I love and accept myself right where I'm at" so... I'm good. It's what I believe can be the dangers in the body positivity world. Yes, it's important to love and accept yourself right where you're at and it's (I believe) important to also take care of our bodies. If I allow myself to fall into old unhealthy eating habits and don't take time to move my body am I really being loving?!

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Build someone else's dreams or start building yours!

When I was a teenage single mom my only concern was surviving and now looking back I feel that I missed so much of my sons growing up. All of those little beautiful in-between moments that I can’t get back. 

I don’t blame myself, it was where I was at during that time. Working 2-3 jobs, going to school full time... running myself ragged trying to create some sense of security for us. 

Even at that time, no matter how little we had, we ALWAYS had our needs met. What I’ve come to learn since that time is that our needs have always and will always be met. So why not take a chance and build your dream?!

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Don't give up on your dreams before they come true

I once found a baby turtle egg, I was about 4 or 5 years old and thought that if I put it in a cup and covered it with sand, gave it lots of love, and warmth that it would hatch. Unfortunately, it never did and I was devasted & never tried again.

Over the last year, I've struggled with starting over in business. I had a challenging time bringing all of my gifts together and got really confused & disheartened at times.

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Making The Right Decision For You Is Never Wrong

These last few years were filled with heartache and hurt and I wouldn't change it for the world. This photo was taken in the summer of 2016 when my heart & head caught up with my soul and knew that my marriage was over. It wasn't an easy decision but I know it was the right one for me. Making a decision that's right for you is never wrong and there is happiness on the other side of the pain you may be feeling.

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My Grandmother passed Last week While I was Away...

This gorgeous woman is my grandmother. She passed recently at 89 years old. My grandma was and is a dish and I am sad to see her go. She's had been dying of cancer. What makes me even sadder than her passing from cancer?! The fact that she was 89 years old and still concerned with the number on the scale broke my heart! 

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