The Time I Realized I Didn't Fit On A Ride at Six Flags Great America... Again
Last Saturday I had a play day at Six Flags Great America and although I had a lot of fun, there was also an all too familiar experience that occurred when I got on the Raging Bull. I was waiting in line for over an hour, I was next in line, ready to go and when the gates opened our row of four filed in and I went to take my seat...
I sat down and the bar wouldn't go down far enough to click. I didn't fit... So I told my group to go ahead without me, I could tell by their faces they were humiliated for me. I got off and walked down the long narrow walkway to the end where I waited for them.
This was an all too familiar feeling and a situation I'd been in before. I experienced this once before when I was at Great America a few years after my significant weight gain. That time it happened on the Batman Ride.
That time, same thing, waited for hours, got in the seat and couldn't buckle the harness.
That instance I walked the hall of shame and cried my eyes out the entire walk then proceeded to beat myself up after for days.
It was so humiliating, I remember hating myself at that moment.
What I found so interesting about these two events is that this time, my response was vastly different. Instead of beating myself up and feeling sorry for myself, I had deep compassion for myself.
I was able to be loving and gentle with myself & my body.
In the past, I would've stopped trying to go on rides again with the fear of it happening over and over. This time, I continued to try and even though a couple rides were a little uncomfortable, the rest of the day was filled with adrenaline and fun!
I recognized that I've had a pretty stressful 6 months this year and I've gained some weight back. Instead of beating myself up about it I've been giving myself space and compassion to be ok with where I'm at. As a result of being more loving, today I started my C2K app and I bought a fridge full of healthy whole foods.
I know I'm ready to get back on track and I know it's because I'm able to be loving towards myself.
I'm so grateful for having this experience shown to me yet again. It showed me how far I've come in loving myself.
For the month of August, I'm discussing COMPASSION in my weekly love letters and what it means to have compassion. If you wanna know more sign up for my weekly love letters.
This week's exercises:
HOW TO HAVE MORE COMPASSION: for yourself and others.
1. Be Gentle - be kind to yourself. Know you are doing the best you can with the tools you've been given.
2. Give yourself space- this means giving yourself the time you need to process, feel your feelings and create an intention for how you want to proceed. Be ok with where you're at in this moment.
3. Give yourself credit- acknowledge what you are doing well and how you are making movement forward. That means even the seemingly tiniest of progress needs to be acknowledged.
JOIN IN THE FUN!
On a scale of 1-10, how much compassion do you give to others? How much do you give to yourself? When you are faced with a challenge do you beat yourself up or go easy on yourself? If you said beat yourself up, does it feel empowering or disempowering? Take a moment to write down in your journal a few answers to these questions on compassion.
xo- laurie marie