Can You Love Them Where They're At?

I hope you’re enjoying the last month of 2016 and taking time to reflect on all the amazing bad-assary you did this past year! I’ve been thinking a lot about all that has happened in my own life and I’m so excited to see what all lies ahead!

This past week life’s been really pretty freak’n amazing! Things can be pretty awesome and surprising when you don't have expectations. The other night I met my honey after work and to my surprise he was carrying a large box full of sandwiches and he asked me if I wanted to go  hand them out to homeless people in downtown San Diego.

I know this may sound strange but that was like one of the hottest things I've ever heard anyone say to me. lol  I lit up like a Christmas tree!  I don't know what it is but I've always had a soft spot for the homeless. It breaks my heart every time I see them, especially now being in a big city, I see them everywhere and I imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes and I can't even imagine... Every single day they are just struggling to find warmth, food, and shelter. Every day they are just trying to get their basic human needs met.

I've seen some people downtown sleeping right on the sidewalk out in the open with just a sleeping bag to protect them. I can’t believe how scary that must be for them and I know how cold I get and I have plenty of blankets, clothes, and shelter to keep me warm. I find it disgusting that human beings are having to live like this and it drives me crazy when I hear people say “oh they're lazy” or “they should just get a job.” I think it’s pretty ignorant of people to think that someone who isn’t getting their very basic human needs met can just “get it together” to get a job, especially if there’s anything else going on like drugs, alcohol or mental health issues.

I mean really, when I think about when I’ve been stuck in my life and it was hard to “get it together”, I at least had all my needs met. So yeah, it felt really good to go out the other night and hand out sandwiches to these people and see them light up just a little bit. I could see it on some of their faces that this simple act of kindness gave them a little bit more hope and they were so grateful to have a meal for the night. It felt so good to give.

Tony Robbins says “The secret to living is giving” and I believe he's right about that.

So yeah when my honey asked me if I wanted to go hand out sandwiches I fell in love a little bit more and it was such an amazing surprise to be able to give when I wasn't expecting it. It felt like Christmas had come early for me this year!

When we can approach life with little or no expectations life gets a lot more interesting.  We don't set ourselves or anyone else up to fail. We lead with intention,  we accept people as they are and we don't try and change them or wish that they were different. We learn to have more compassion and understanding. We can just love people for who they are and where they're at.

I've had to learn to do this in a lot of my relationships over the years. My life has changed so drastically and on a spiritual level, I feel like I've outgrown some of the people in my life. Not that it makes me better or worse, I don't look at myself above anyone else, but I've had to learn that some people I can have certain conversations with and others I cannot. So instead of expecting them to meet me at my level or expecting them to change, I’ve just learned to accept them for who they are and where they're at and love them anyway.

Besides, no one person can be everything to me. That's why we have girlfriends, best friends, lovers, parents, grandparents, mentors etc. We have a wide variety of people serving different aspects of our lives because no one person can be everything to us.

So I know there are conversations I can have with my mom that I might not have with my dad. There are conversations I would have with a friend but I would’nt have with say a boss. Okay, bad example, I’m my own boss but you get what I'm saying.

When you look at the people in your life, think about who they are to you, what can you say to them that maybe you can say to someone else? What purpose do they serve in your life and instead of expecting them to be something they're not could you accept them for who they are and where they're at and could you love them anyway?