Forgive Them & Release
Today was a turning point for me, I released the need to go after my ex for child support after over 20 years. For years I didn't get a dime, in fact by the time my son was around 10 years old I had pretty much given up hope that I'd ever see what was owed...
The system is a broken one and guys like him get away with non-payment. He knew how to work the system & so he did.
I used to enjoy the idea of him always having child support on his back... I wanted revenge, I wanted to know that someday, some way they'd get him. I wanted revenge for all of the hard work I had to do alone, the struggles we faced, the multiple jobs I had to work, the time I missed out on with my son because of those jobs, as well as the heartache of watching my son grow up without his father...
At one point I was filled with so much anger and resentment... I wanted him to feel all of the pain he left for us to manage and for child support to reclaim what rightfully belonged to us... That day never came.
It's been 23 years now and he owes over $50,000 and today I find myself oddly at peace with it. In fact, for the past six months, I considered writing it off (meaning having the courts stop the pursuit... not that there's been much of that, to begin with) but I feel like it's time to release myself from the attachment of money. It doesn't mean anything anymore. In all honesty, it never did. Whether the money was there or not we had our needs met and we got through it.
My son, unfortunately, grew up without a father but the money wouldn't have changed that either way. What matters is that I know I did my part & my best in raising our son and that's what I get to live with and that's enough for me.
His fathers in prison for life from other choices he's made (from what I hear through the grapevine), so he has his own demons to face.
As for me, releasing this debt owed to us is me releasing myself from that energy because I'm walking forward in abundance. Holding onto something that was never gonna happen comes from lack and I released that today... it no longer serves me.
Not only have I released but I've also forgiven... it doesn't excuse what he's done. It just sets me free from the anger and resentment that once was within me. Having unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. 💖
Holding onto energy that doesn't serve you and over time will feel like a slow death, my friend... let go and set yourself free.