Turning Shame & Judgement Into Self-Acceptance
I have a confession to make… I play Pokemon… there I said it. I’ve been playing since July and I’ve learned so much from this game about shame, judgement, and how I hold myself back from things that bring me pleasure. I’ve been so embarrassed and ashamed to let anyone know that I play, even strangers walking by I will find myself ever so cleverly pulling my phone closer to me so they can’t see the oh so obvious swipes all Poke players make. Let’s just say, it’s pretty obvious. Lol
For those of you who may not be familiar, Pokemon is a game where you catch cute animated characters, have battles, win stardust, and evolve your creatures.
You also get points & rewards for getting out and walking around catching these little squishies. I began using the app back in July while running to make running a bit more entertaining and exciting. I also used it as a way to connect with Austin [my son] he grew up with Pokemon and collected all of the cards, he always wanted me to play and I was just never into it. Then they came out with the app/game a few years back and he asked me to play again. I tried one day back in August for about 10 minutes and I was still not into it.
I had so much resistance around it, I thought it was dumb, a waste of time, and why would I do that?! It wasn’t until Tony picked it up again himself and started playing with Austin that I got curious about it and decided to give it a real shot. I quickly found it to be fun and I mean who doesn’t want to build a cuteness army and get rewarded for exercise so I was hooked. Even though I gave into the fun of playing, I noticed that I still have resistance and shame around letting others know that I play. I find this fascinating because I mean in the grand scheme of things who cares?! I’m a leader and I play Pokemon lol. My mission is to empower and inspire people in life and I collect adorable animals in a video game.
It just opened my eyes to resistance and where I hold myself back in other areas as well as what drives me to want certain things, like connecting to those I love and how I find ways to connect. Where I have shame or embarrassment are clues to my desires and I’ve started exploring these areas. I’ve started asking myself why am I resistant? What’s the fear? What am I afraid will happen? Who am I afraid won’t stick around if they knew xyz about me?
What we’re resistant to or have judgement towards [whether within us or another] can tell us a lot about what we truly desire and where we hold ourselves back. Do I desire to be a Pokemon master? No, but I do desire connection with the people I love who play and for me it’s a point of connection besides, like I said, I’m building a cuteness army to take over the world so there’s that.
When we carry shame around what we want we can’t truly be happy. If we hold ourselves back from what’s calling ourselves we can never really discover the fullness of who we are meant to be. So in the spirit of self-discovery I’m coming out of the Pokemon closet and instead of judging or shaming myself about wanting to connect to others, I’m practicing self-acceptance.
xo- laurie marie
P.S. If you’d like to explore your deepest desires for 2019, I’m booking Desire Deep Dives, these are 90 Minute calls where we dive into your desires for 2019. Spots are limited so click to grab yours today!
Oh and btw, if you’re a Poke-geek too, let’s be friends lol. Trainer Code: 3902 8011 2969